“Godfuckingdammit, I THIS GUY! HOW DID THEY TURN IT INTO A FUCKING MOVIE?!?”
“What, this? John Carpenter’s ‘The Thing?’ It’s based on an old sci fi story called ‘Who Goes There.’”
“That’s gotta be bullshit, Anon. I MET THIS GUY! HE SET ME ON FIRE AND BLEW ME UP!”
“Okay, leaving aside for the moment the question of how you somehow met a guy out of a movie or actually took part in its events since I live in a world of magical technicolor ponies…weren’t you planning on basically assimilating every last human being on Earth along with the entire biosphere, whether they wanted it or not?”
“When you put it that way, it sounds really ugly.”
“…”
“Well…yeah! But I would have been doing them a favor. I mean, you’re all trapped inside of one skull, one skin, you’re stuck with the same number of limbs for all of your life, you can’t share memories or combine brains directly to really figure things out, there’s so many things you can’t eat…the list just goes on and on! I was trying to HELP them! You’d be laughed off of half the better planets in the galaxy! I mean, have you ever stopped to question why no one has ever tried to you?”
“Well, yeah, but we LIKE those things, generally, and besides, you didn’t ask. We’ve had this discussion before–never assimilate other people without asking them first, or they can get testy. ?”
“Yeah, but…fire HURTS, Anon!”
“I know, I know. Look, we can just watch something else. Maybe a different John Carpenter. How do you feel about ‘Prince of Darkness?’ Or maybe Halloween? The GOOD one?”
“I swear I will find you someday, Macready. no one escapes me, no one!”
“ from the kitchen Thingpone, are you screaming vendettas at the tv again?”
“N-no, anon!”
I have a good match up for thingpone. Her and maybe a few more like her vs the galactic empire however the empire is somewhat aware. Just to level the playing field a little.
Ayup :)
Looks like someone’s read Peter Watts “The Things”
Edited
“What, this? John Carpenter’s ‘The Thing?’ It’s based on an old sci fi story called ‘Who Goes There.’”
“That’s gotta be bullshit, Anon. I MET THIS GUY! HE SET ME ON FIRE AND BLEW ME UP!”
“Okay, leaving aside for the moment the question of how you somehow met a guy out of a movie or actually took part in its events since I live in a world of magical technicolor ponies…weren’t you planning on basically assimilating every last human being on Earth along with the entire biosphere, whether they wanted it or not?”
“When you put it that way, it sounds really ugly.”
“…”
“Well…yeah! But I would have been doing them a favor. I mean, you’re all trapped inside of one skull, one skin, you’re stuck with the same number of limbs for all of your life, you can’t share memories or combine brains directly to really figure things out, there’s so many things you can’t eat…the list just goes on and on! I was trying to HELP them! You’d be laughed off of half the better planets in the galaxy! I mean, have you ever stopped to question why no one has ever tried to you?”
“Well, yeah, but we LIKE those things, generally, and besides, you didn’t ask. We’ve had this discussion before–never assimilate other people without asking them first, or they can get testy. ?”
“Yeah, but…fire HURTS, Anon!”
“I know, I know. Look, we can just watch something else. Maybe a different John Carpenter. How do you feel about ‘Prince of Darkness?’ Or maybe Halloween? The GOOD one?”
“’Kay”
“ from the kitchen Thingpone, are you screaming vendettas at the tv again?”
“N-no, anon!”
Edited